July went like a blink of an eye. It came, it happened, and it left.

But it left me lots of unspoken words; some of them I have decoded while the others, I am trying to decode.

July started with a note of a new beginning. I planned to revamp my blog and shift my blogging niche from wellness to lifestyle as I wanted to explore more categories to write on my website.

So, I was back into book reviews after three years. Can you imagine? I wrote a book review after three long years!! And it felt so good to be back into book reviewing because only now I realize what I missed in the last three years.

Three years ago, in 2020, I decided to do niche blogging and chose Mindfulness and Mental Wellness as my blogging niche because I felt passionate about them.

The more I studied these subjects, the happier I became about my decision of choosing this niche. Before niche blogging, I used to write anything and everything.

But when I decided to give the book review a second go in July this year, I felt that I was missing writing my book analysis. To be precise, I realized that for the last three years, I was away from my reading habit and read only when I could find some free time and a quiet corner in the house.

I also realized that I never tried to find any; because there was no effort to make a reading corner for me and indulge myself in the reading bliss.

Here comes the first learning of July 2023.

Sometimes you should give an effort to make something your own, which is your own.

Then, I started writing book reviews on my blog and soon I was on my reading spree.

My reading spree…ahh, what a joy to be there forever and ever, and what a fool I am to miss that happiness for so long.

Then, I wanted to write about books. No, not only book reviews but having bookish talks on my blog. I brought the half-finished books out of the bookshelf, cleaned the dust, stacked them one by one beside my laptop bag, kept some books on my harmonium cover, and thus, I created a small bookish corner in the house.

It, perhaps, is the best corner of the house for me. I feel blissful gazing at the books and spend some moments of joy being there with my proud possessions.

However, life does feel jealous seeing you happy, well, sometimes. I was happily dwelling in my bookish corner, writing, reading, and daydreaming all day. Meanwhile, we went to Kolkata to meet my sister and then visited my aunt’s place for some personal work. There, I experienced a total mess.

The house was messy; although, the situations were not merrier either. However, I was able to create peace inside my head because I carried a magazine in my bag and see, the book came to me as a savior.

Here I realized the next big thing in July – Choosing silence is an apt choice.

If you choose silence over meaningless conversation, then you understand life’s unlearned equations better.

Unlearning is as much important as learning, and I believe it wholeheartedly.

Anyway, we were back home after a few days but I felt a strange laziness after returning home. I was unable to write anything for four consecutive days. Maybe it was for excess stress on my mind.

Then, I started reading new books and writing their reviews on my blog. However, I was not feeling peace within because of the consistent stressful discussions at home, unmasking of people whom I trusted once, and making a shift toward my life’s next chapter.

Although July is my birthday month and it has been my favorite month since my childhood for the obvious reason, however, this year, I didn’t feel any excitement. There was no celebration as my sister was not here, there was no phone calls with the birthday wish as I have grown too old, there was no gift from my parents as they were busy with something more important; only my sister gave me a beautiful purse in advance as my birthday gift and mom blessed me with dhaan-and-durba, giving me a hundred rupees note and a one rupee coin that I sincerely treasure in my piggybank just like every year. Oh yes, my friend Abhishek wished me with his voice message that he does every year; and I was so happy to hear his audio note because it was the only birthday wish that literally spoke to me.

Birthdays are never meant to be childish as we age. Yet, a part of this heart still longs to have some giggles and cuddles on the special day. After all, dil toh baccha hai ji.

But in this age of the internet and digital medium, we have come too far from the connections that feel real, and moments that give us a chance to be childlike, once again. We keep in touch with people who matter to us, in some way or the other.

But we forget the people to whom we matter the most.

Anyway, it was the first part of my July story and then the month continued with writing and reading. I hardly could find time to watch a YouTube video or listen to a song. However, I came across the new song Aga Naga from PS 2 one day and listened to it every night before going to sleep. The tune felt so peaceful and it helped me de-stress after a hectic day.

But life was waiting with some more surprises for me. I made lots of mistakes and then, learned vital lessons from them.

July made me learn how people don’t understand what you say – sometimes directly and sometimes indirectly. Many years ago, I faced the same situation in my college. I told my friend something that I strongly dislike and wanted to stay away from that because our semester exam was approaching and I didn’t want any kind of extra baggage to occupy my mind.

But no, people are people. Some of them don’t understand what you want to say, even if you clearly tell them or constantly pass signs of your disliking. Maybe they understand later, but by then it was too late.

However, when I have books with me, I have ways to find my peace within.

Sometimes, when you are having too much stress in your life, maybe it’s time to declutter.

I was working hard and having frequent travel between Kolkata and my hometown, and thus, everything altogether made me feel tired, stressed, and overwhelmed.

Therefore, I chose to declutter. I lessened my commitments, backed out from some blogging works, said no to some discussions that could be done later, and prioritized my peace.

I chose to have fewer interactions with people. I chose books as my companion in lonely hours because you know, books are better than people. Books never break your trust. Books never lie to you. They never hurt you. Rather, whenever you need a friend with whom you want to spend time and forget the world, it’s always a book.

After a long time, I bought books for me. Buying books feels so nice!

Also, on a rainy morning, when we were traveling to Kolkata, I got a window seat on the train. I boarded on Amritsar Mail after many years and felt very happy to travel on such a rainy-day early morning.

As soon as our train left the platform, it started raining. The weather was pleasant, calm, and cool; there was coming the smell of petrichor, and watching the dark clouds, the vast green paddy fields, the forests, the ponds, the birds, and the dancing raindrops outside the window, the pluviophile in me became overjoyed to feel the rain in every way. I started humming the song Barkha ki rut aayi jhula jhulaye… I was singing aloud, but nobody could hear me because of the roaring wheels of the train and the sounds of the thunder.

Ahh, what a bliss it is when you sing for you, and only you.

And thus, my July story ended with a blissful note of self-love; and my books and I, together we wrote some beautiful love stories.

July taught me the most beautiful art of choosing myself.

Choosing myself when there is nobody else to celebrate my happiness but I am there for myself. Always.

Choosing myself when it comes to prioritizing my self-esteem because I have realized it’s not a good thing to compromise your values and ethics for anything.

Choosing myself when there is chaos and I find no other way to find my sanity except in the blissful hours of reading and then contemplating on what I read.

Choosing myself when I need to stay away from toxic people and their negative vibes so I can focus on my thing, my very own thing.