“Emotions are signs of your aliveness. They remind you that you’re alive, very much alive.”

– Swarnali Nath

I still remember the day when life welcomed me to adulthood with emotional whirlwinds.
At that time, I was a charming, confident, and ambitious girl who was gleefully stepping into her twenties. But all-of-sudden my world turned upside down when I started facing too many things together. College days, you know! There was friendship, there was loneliness. There was love, there was heartbreak. There was trust, there was betrayal.

Every day was different than the previous one, as if life was teaching me a new syllabus in its every turn, and somehow amidst that turbulence inward and outward, I grew up fast!

And it is not a rare scene to witness, rather, having emotional turmoil at the tender age of youth when girls and boys enter an entirely different environment in college, make new friends, and start experiencing unexpected twists and turns in their dreamlike lives, it’s quite obvious to drown in the overwhelming cascade of emotions. Slowly, silently, they start having mental health issues but in most cases, like me, they remain unrecognized because of the lack of knowledge and awareness.

My Experience of Emotional Turmoil when I Learned About the World of Emotions:

Today, when I am writing about emotions and my experience with emotional turmoil, I recall the day when my fight with emotions started. I vividly remember the day because it was the day when I had my first bout of emotions. That day, I came to know that a world of emotions lives in us, and I was unaware of that fact until my emotions exploded like a volcano.

It was a strange kind of feeling that engulfed me from the morning right from the moment I boarded the bus. I thought it might be for some reasons related to my studies as we got promoted to the next semester, and every new has its own sets of fears and confusions. But soon after the first lecture was finished, I realized it was not the common fear or confusion when we begin something new; rather, it was something totally different. I realized there was a test of emotions waiting for me, and I already got the pass to board the roller-coaster ride to have a reality check with the other side of life.

I was feeling restless during the lectures. Somehow, I continued to attend my classes. As I returned home, I hurriedly went to my study room, and keeping the bag aside, I sat on my bed. After some time, Maa came to me and told me to change the uniform. I blindly followed her instructions as I was not aware of what I was doing.

Then I had my tiffin, opened the desktop, sat before it, and started scrolling down my social media feed. But everything seemed a blur to me. After some time, I shut down the desktop, but I sat on the chair for some more time. Moments passed like a stranger but I did not care about the clock. I didn’t have the count of seconds, minutes, or hours.
After some time, I returned to my bed, curled myself, and closed my eyes. Keeping my back to the bookshelf, I sat there for a long time. Quiet, still, silent.

Although someone inside me was dying to burst into tears, I didn’t cry. I didn’t scream either. I didn’t talk to anyone, even I didn’t pick up any calls from my friends or reply to their messages. I wanted to be alone and tried to cope with that feeling quietly.
At that moment, my emotions were whirling at sixes and sevens. One moment, I was feeling several emotions altogether – I was anxious, nervous, stressed, sad, heartbroken, I was feeling hopeless, dejected, and frustrated. However, the next moment, all my emotions went into oblivion and I started feeling numb and empty. There was no emotion at all.
I didn’t know what that overwhelming situation was called, what was the reason behind that state of mind, and how to get rid of that overwhelming experience. Neither could I share it with anyone nor could I process it silently. As a result, I had frequent emotional outbursts and all of them came out as tantrums to my parents.

It took me seven to eight years, much later than the first day when I had the first experience of emotional mayhem, to deeply understand what awaits when your emotions give you a wake-up call. I have realized, it takes time to process your emotions, and once it’s done you will see, gradually, everything falls into place, only to offer you balance, stability, and harmony.

How I Manage My Emotional Turbulence:

Time teaches you everything. Slowly, I realized how important it is to give priority to your emotional wellness and manage your emotions to manage your emotional stress. With growing age, I learned to handle my emotions more wisely. Now, when it comes to managing my emotional suffering, I try to give myself some time to cope with the whirlwind of emotions, and then, I try to release them, one at a time.
Coming to the very first thing about my experience, here is what I feel while having emotional turmoil. It’s like a storm is roaring inside me, but I am still and silent outside. I am unable to express the restlessness within, and thus, dealing with the tohubohu makes me release my emotional outbursts to my dear ones.

The other times, I cry in silence. I prefer to be silent, cut off interactions, and set boundaries. I also stop multitasking to reduce my productivity.
During this phase, I like to spend time with myself and avoid indulging in conversations. This way, I give myself time to process my inner turmoil. First, I slow down, then gradually, I move on to bring myself back into force.
Experiencing a disorder and instability of emotions is nothing wrong, rather, sometimes it’s good to have bouts of emotions so you realize that you still own some signs of being a human, that you have not turned into a machine yet.

After all, our emotions are essential for us because they differentiate us from a robot and make us proud of calling ourselves humans.

– Swarnali Nath

However, when you are experiencing lots of emotions altogether and you don’t know how to deal with them, it’s obvious to feel stressed, anxious, exhausted, and most importantly, overwhelmed.

Therefore, at that time, you need to focus on two things: finding your emotional healing toolkit which will help you in managing your emotional whirlwind. Secondly, allowing yourself to give some time for emotional acceptance and emotional release, to walk a step forward towards emotional healing.

My Emotional Healing Toolkit:

Although it’s tough for me to manage the waves of emotions that give birth to the storm within, however, I try to associate with myself in the three spheres of my life, where I find the answers that calm down me slowly. I journal, I sing, and I meditate. These three tools never fail to amaze me with their healing power.

I feel the peace within.

Meditation:

Meditation helps me calm my stressed mind. Meditating regularly during the worst days of turbulence, helps me calm down the restlessness within. Through meditation, I find answers to the questions that have been disturbing me all along. It also helps me converse with my inner self through the language of silence, and thus, it sends a positive signal to my psyche that eventually makes my emotional health better by uplifting my spirit. Meditation also paves a way inward to rise to the higher consciousness that eventually improves my self-awareness and it contributes a vital role in my emotional healing.

Journaling:

Journaling helps me converse with my inner self through written words. When I am dwelling in the turmoil and having a fight with my emotions, I prefer to journal my thoughts. For this purpose, I do any of these two: either I write my thoughts following the free-flow writing style, or, I ask myself some questions to inquire about the problems and try to find a suitable solution. Journaling never fails to surprise me with the power of trusting my intuition.

Music:

Music helps me heal. When I experience inner turmoil and find it difficult to express the emotional turbulence that gives birth to a storm inside me, I take refuge in music. Sometimes I play my favorite song, and the other times, I sit to sing. I also sing aloud while playing my favorite songs. When I sit for singing, I sing the songs that help me feel better. Sometimes I prefer to learn a new song with its notes, play the harmonium, and sing it. While singing, sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry. I feel the oneness with the song and thus, I become lost in that tune and lyrics. As a result, it helps me release my emotions and I feel relieved. This way, music helps me as an expressive art to connect with my emotions deeper and find a shelter where I can be me. Only me, with the true self of me, with the happy self of me, smiling with contentment.

Self-compassion:

Being compassionate to myself heals me from within. This ritual includes forgiveness, gratitude, appreciation, affirmation, and manifestation. This is why, when I practice self-compassion to calm down my emotional turbulence, I give myself at least fifteen minutes because I break the timeframe into 3-3-3-3-3 minutes for forgiving myself, being grateful, appreciating little things, using affirmations, and manifesting the positive vibes around me.

However, if I wish to extend the duration for showing an abundance of love to myself, I never refrain from staying in that practice for some more time. I forgive, I let go and grow. I show gratitude, I feel blessed. I appreciate, I affirm, I celebrate. I manifest, I emerge.

This is how I embrace the aura of self-compassion to heal myself emotionally.

Spirituality:

Spirituality gives me solace. Whenever I experience a storm inside, I become more inclined to spirituality. I go to our home temple and sit there quietly. Sometimes I talk to the Gods and Goddesses, and other times, I silently look at them and cry. Every teardrop of mine speaks for itself, and thus, I feel lighter, I feel healed.

In addition, I chant, pray, and meditate. Chanting the mantras restores my faith, courage, and strength to the Almighty. Praying gives me a chance to surrender myself to the Omnipresent and I surrender all my pain, restlessness, hopelessness, and aimlessness to the feet of Him. Gradually, I feel relieved.

The 7-step Exercise to Find Calm with Emotional Acceptance and Emotional Release:

At this time, you feel overwhelmed because you are in a mess and dealing with this feeling seems tough.

This is why I want to share with you the seven-step exercise I follow to cope with my emotional turmoil and process the phase slowly, to achieve a sense of order, stability, and balance. The steps are

1. Pause
2. Rest
3. Accept
4. Address
5. Acknowledge
6. Express
7. Release

Pause:

For the process to be followed, first, you need to pause. Whenever you are caught in a whirl of emotions, take a break. When you are amidst the chaos, if you can take a break, it helps you to cope with the turbulence within and rest your mind, body, and soul.

Sometimes, when you pause to give yourself some rest from the constant stress and anxiety, it also helps you to break a pattern that you have been in for a long time. As a result, it gives you a chance to welcome something new.

Rest:

Now, it’s time for rest. You have to allow yourself some time to process your emotions. Most of the time in this phase I feel overwhelmed as I experience many emotions altogether. As a result, an overwhelming feeling surrounds me and it tries to engulf me to the core.

However, giving myself some time to rest, relax, and rejuvenate, makes me feel better and then it becomes easy for me to deal with my emotions. Slowly, I start feeling calmer as I successfully come out of that overwhelming feeling when I behave insane.

Accept:

Now, you have to accept your emotions as they are.

Once you say yes to your emotions, unbeknownst to you, a door is opened for them. They come to you through that passage. Slowly, they reach one step closer to you.

When they come, accept them. Whatever emotions you have right now, remember, they are all yours. Accept them with love and compassion.

Address:

You have to be strong and brave enough to face them once they come closer. Let them come, and stay with you for some time so you can address them properly. Let yourself be at ease. Don’t force yourself for anything; instead, allow yourself to feel those emotions inside you.
In this step, if you find it hard to name your emotions, no worries, please keep them unnamed.
When I have emotional turmoil, I generally experience a lot of emotions altogether: anxiety, frustration, anger, sadness, loneliness, disgust, guilt… all of them engulf me accompanied by the feeling of dejection, restlessness, emptiness, and numbness.

However, when I introspect within to see a glimpse of the emotions I carry in me during this chaotic phase of the turbulence, I can name some of them but there is a part of the emotions that I prefer to keep unnamed.
Sometimes, it’s good if you can’t name these emotions because naming your emotions may make you more restless and anxious, and it doesn’t help to improve the situation. But not naming them, certainly gives you a sense of calm.
For me, dealing with the named emotions seems more difficult than dealing with the unnamed ones. When I can name an emotion, it feels like I can see it in front of my eyes, and the more I feel engulfed by the emotion, the more I become overwhelmed.
On the other hand, when I leave the emotions unnamed, it becomes easier for me to avoid them or let them be, as they are.
Unnamed, unnoticed, unrevealed.
Is it important to name everything in your life? If leaving something unnamed gives you the peace of ignorance, then why should you stress to name it?
Let them, just be.

Acknowledge:

Now, it’s time to acknowledge them. They will not enter your wholeness until you acknowledge them to be with you. Suppose you have an unwanted guest at your home. Although you have accepted them, until you show it to them, they will not feel valued, and thus, they may get upset with you.

No matter how many times you are hurt in life, never hurt your emotions.

– Swarnali Nath

They have been waiting for so long to be accepted, to be cared for, to be valued by you. It’s high time. Acknowledge them as they are a vital part of your being.

Express:

The next step is a vital one in this 7-step exercise because this is the phase when you prepare yourself for releasing your emotions. Before you release them, you need to express them so you can involve yourself completely to the emotional release process, and it will only happen when you start doing something to balance your emotions with physical activities, creative pursuits, and spiritual exercises.

In this phase, I focus on my emotional wellness toolkit. I express my emotions through them and slowly, start feeling lighter because gradually I reduce the baggage of my emotions.

For this purpose, you can do journaling, indulge yourself in some form of creativity, walk, run, exercise, or simply sing aloud, dance with your favorite music, and write your heart out. You can also seek guidance from a mentor to involve yourself in some forms of expressive art therapy.

Release:

Having been working on your emotions, gradually, you have reached the last step. Now, it’s time to release them.
In this phase, try to find the way you can let go of your emotions one at a time because it helps you to work on them better. When I realize it’s time to release my emotions, I start practicing some emotional release rituals of my own and they immensely help me release my trapped emotions better. These rituals include: Talking to my emotions as if they are humans, asking them how can I help them to let go of the cage within my body, writing a letter to myself by describing the entire process I followed, and finally, practicing deep breathing.

Also, I cry. I cry a lot. I mostly cry alone. Locking myself up in a room where there is no one around me, I evoke my emotions and fall into tears. I wash away all my pain and agony through every teardrop.
Then, I become calm, like the sea becomes a standstill after the storm stops. Surprisingly, this is when I can feel the vastness of the sea, and I realize, I am dwelling in the stillness within.

Final Thoughts:

Dealing with emotional turmoil is not easy, perhaps, it’s one of the most difficult things to do for a human. Being in a state where everything goes wrong and I feel overwhelmed, I try to handle it with ease, taking time to process my emotions. After some days, gradually, I can feel the storm in me has stopped and I have become calm.
Slowly, I make a boat of my emotions and watch them let go with the gentle flow of the river, only to keep myself floating toward the direction where peace prevails.

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(This post is a part of Truly Yours Holistic Emotions Blog Hop by Rakhi Jayashankar and Roma Gupta Sinha.)