Where do I belong? I often ask myself.

In my childhood days, I was so happy to be protected by the elders of the house, and that little girl was happy thinking that she belonged to a family where everyone was concerned about her.

Then, one day, she grew up. And at a point, she realized, she belonged somewhere else.

There was another story waiting. One day, she realized that she was unable to find a place that she could call her home.

When she started growing old, everyone started telling her that she did not belong there, in her father’s house, as she belonged to her husband’s house. Then one day, she grew old and then, came the day when everybody was worried to ger married off because she had become too old to find a suitable groom for her. But she was still happy to be surrounded by her parents, in her safe haven of books, in the cave of music, in the safest place on earth, her home.

Then, one day, she realized a strong disconnectedness with her home. “My home”, she uttered. But she could not feel peace when she called that place her home. As if that place was unknown to her, like a cottage where she came only to stay for a few days while travelling in the journey of life.

“I…belong to…somewhere else. This place can’t be mine; I don’t feel this place is my home. I can see…my home…somewhere far…”, she murmured.

“Have I ever been there?” She questioned herself.  

Whenever she wanted to name her home, she couldn’t find it anywhere. Neither here nor somewhere. With this quest, she had travelled far. But nothing seemed familiar like that place. Then what is this home she could see?

She asked her again, and someone from inside whispered,

“You belong here, in this homebody, for it has been your forever home.”

She began her journey home.

Then one day, she started building a home in her heart. A home far away from the chaos of the world, a home far away from the hatred and lies, a home far away from the dreams, desires, and deeds. She built a home that was her own, where she could spend year after year worshipping her inner Goddess.

Maybe she wanted to build an abandoned temple inside her heart, for she realized that it was the only place where she belonged.

(This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon)