My calendar of 2023 started on 11th February. January gave me hope with new dreams, a new purpose, and a new work field. However, it left me shattered from within because I was facing consistent failures, and somehow, I lost my self-confidence. Slowly, it caused me to suffer from sadness and low self-esteem, and I started spending my days mourning, grieving, and howling.
Thus came February, and the first ten days were terrible. The grief started taking over me, and the 8th, 9th, and 10th of February marked the most gruesome days of the year.
My depressive ruminations possessed me and I surrendered myself to the pain in my entirety. Locking myself up in a room, I made sure all the curtains covered the windows so no light could peek through them and I could weep in the dark. Nobody could hear me, or perhaps, those who heard never cared because it was just another round of my emotional outbursts to them.
I cried a lot. One moment, I reached such a state when I started choking. But I wanted to give myself that pain. I didn’t rise from the ground and borrowed myself a glass of water. I had a plan to skip my meals but mom and dad forced me to eat at least a bite of the roti or some humble amount of rice. I silently followed their words.
I was silent, and they feared that deadly silence because it was not normal for a girl like me who generally expresses her feelings with a loud disclosure: whether I am sad or happy, I never fail to express it right away. So, the silence was considered a sign of the storm inside me.
10th of February evening, Dad announced to me that they were going to Kolkata for some urgent work, and they wanted me to go with them. At that moment, I was not in a state of talking to anyone, and they presumed I would ask for leaving me at home alone.
But, to my utter surprise, I said yes!
As if someone inside me knew that it was going to be a lifetime experience for me.
I woke up early and got ready to join my parents. When we reached the platform, it was 5:30 AM. The crimson sky was looking beautiful. Somewhere in that aura of the dawn, the monster inside me stopped groaning and I started bringing myself back to the light. Something was there in the air, a positive vibe that was uplifting my mood as if a sapling was giving birth to its first leaves and they were raising their heads above the earth’s surface.
Ahh, that feeling when someone slowly tiptoes to the rhythm of life after a long…
I am grateful to all of them whom I captured in my heart that morning. That smiling face of the little girl, that naughty kid playing with a toy on the platform, that tree adorned with the hues of spring, those tiny white blooms shattered on the ground like pearls, and the whistle of the train while watching its engine entering the platform: everything made me happy. I could sense a ray of hope blossoming inside me, and I realized again, that hope heals.
Towards our destination in Kolkata, I observed some more things that made the journey a memorable one. That lady beggar without legs on the Howrah Junction, that foreign couple waiting for a yellow taxi, those idols of Gour-Nitai waiting behind the truck to be delivered to their destination, those recycled flower baskets decorating the fencing of picturesque houses, and that flock of pigeons flew with a hooooshhh sound after eating the grain seeds from the ground: everything I noticed, sent me a message of life.
That something is still there, waiting for me. And within that hope, I restored my faith in me, to bring me back to the usual rhythm of life.
While returning home the next day, I took a tiny bundle of joy from her Dad as he went to search for her Mom who lost her way in the previous compartment of the train. The little one was crying aloud but as soon as I kept her head on my shoulder, she stopped crying and fell asleep. Her body odor smelled divine, and that gentle touch of her soft skin, those tiny hands and legs, and that sleeping face, healed my soul.
And I could feel my heart started beating again.
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February marked one more thing that guided me to a new purpose. I participated in the Write A Page A Day challenge by Blogchatter and later, I compiled those pieces to publish them as my third book.
If I make a list of the things in 2023 that gave me joy, there would be many. I was back to creative writing after ages. I wrote an ode to Notee Binodini, one of those women who shaped the woman in me. I hosted two blog hops successfully, published the paperback editions of my first and second books, learned 20 new songs, brought myself back to the reading habit, started book reviews again, had a long trip to the outskirts of Bengal, bought some books from my TBR list, and some more that I fail to recall at this moment.
Meanwhile, my short story ‘Towards a New Dawn’ found its home in the Anthology titled ‘And Then There Was Life’, compiled by Rakhi Jayashankar. I got a chance to be a contributing author to two other Anthologies to be published in the coming months.
The first half of the year made new promises to me and I hoped to have more sunshine days in the next months too, but who can predict the future? From the last weeks of July till now, I am burdened with many problems, health complications, family issues, mom’s prolonged sickness, emotional suffering, and many more.
But yes, I am grateful to 2023 for gifting me some precious moments to be cherished forever.
2023 taught me some great life lessons:
- I learned how to define happiness in my own way.
- I learned peace of ignorance and it made me wiser.
- 2023 taught me the ABC of the art of leaving. Though I have learned only the ABC, and Z seems far, far away, I am happy to let go of some things that bid adieu and I saw them going far from my silent cries.
- I started practicing simple living with minimalism to make my way toward acceptance and peace.
So, the reminder for 2024 for me is: No matter what the world thinks of you, remember to give yourself enough time to nurture the child within. You deserve you. Take time for self-care, and embrace self-love even if it sometimes sounds selfish. Take care of your dear ones but don’t forget to live for yourself.
My biggest realization of 2023:
The universe lives within you; in the blink of your eyes, in your breath, in your smile, in your words, in your silence. If you are longing to travel the world but can’t step outside, don’t worry, awaken your senses to absorb the essence of You.
When you have a heart full of compassion, everywhere you see, is a reflection of the universal truth, and a glimpse of the Omnipresent.
– Swarnali (The Blissful Storyteller)
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On this note, I want to share the beautiful gift I received from my dear friend Rashi Roy. I love this painting so much, as it’s a reminder for me: To be a sunshine, first, you have to be the Sun.
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I see the world prepping up to welcome the new year, I see people making plans for the celebration, I see the year leaving us with a bunch of stories to write, memories to remember, and revelations to embark on a new journey.
I look beyond the window and stretch my hand outside. I can’t understand what particularly I want at this hour; a new hope to bloom in my heart, or a circle to end, or the touch of life, once again.
The Bluetooth speaker keeps playing the song Puthiyoru Lokam, and Bhadra Rajin’s words echo to my ears: Malar Chendil Oro Mottum Oro Swapnam (Each bud in the bouquet is a whole new dream).
I see a flower slowly unfurling its petals…
(This post is part of The Year & You Blog Hop hosted by me. We are a bunch of twenty-seven bloggers, biding a goodbye to 2023 and welcoming 2024 by showing gratitude and sharing our hope and promises together.)
Read entries by our participants here.
The Blissful Storyteller 
26 responses to “2023 Gifted Me a Journey of a Lifetime”
Sipping my early morning tea and reading your article is the best feeling dear. When I started reading about your tough time, I knew later you would come out of it beautifully, and yes, you did. Your journey is indeed inspiring, and I appreciate your openness. Congratulations on your books, will surely get them when I am back In India.
This year, for the first time, we couldn’t go on vacation, and it’s really getting to me. I’m putting off everything, struggling to meet deadlines at work, and even the chapters I wrote for my ebook are unfinished. It made me realize how important a short break is for my mental peace.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, It’s impressive how you found a positive moment on that train platform. Wishing you strength and good health 😊
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Hope comes to us in most unexpected and surprising ways. Sometimes it’s right in front of us and we only need the heart to open to see it. Just as your blog is named, Swarnali, you are a blissful storyteller, and this was a blissful read. Wishing you a beautiful and kind year ahead ❤️.
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My heart was filled with empathy for your Swarna when I started reading your post. My Dad passed away in the early hours of 12th January and somewhere our dates matched in sadness. I am so glad that you chose ( yes we need to sometimes make that conscious choice ) the positive, the little nice things that bring joy and that fateful Kolkata journey that brought hope back into your life.
Stay blessed my Girl, your writing is not only a journey in healing yourself but a ray of hope for others going through the same turmoil.
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[…] the The Universe looking out for me. This post is written for #TheYearAndYouBlogHop hosted by Swarnali. I have chosen to write on the prompt, ‘Your memories of 2023’. Spread […]
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Sometimes we lose hope and confine ourselves to a coop. That difficult time needs extra effort to see the rays of hope surrounding us. It felt good to read your encouraging story, Swarnali. Keep sharing your healing magic and spread the euphoria of life.
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Swarnali, I am very fond of your writing and matured thoughts. You always amaze me with your word choices. This post was another one in that list. I know, you have had some tough patches in 2023 but what makes you who you are is how you bounce back. And you did that everytime you have faced with one such patch. Those four lessons are very true and I strongly believe in them. We are the driver of our life and the writer of our destiny. No one can restrict you from experiencing happiness. Loads of good luck for 2024. And a tight hug to you.
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So beautifully written. I read the whole article. Happy New Year to you and your family. Your article is just so creative and thoughtprovoking especially the way you described how your trip to Kolkata changed your perspective on life. Just stay happy and keep writing.
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This was such a vulnerable post. Thank you for your courage and for sharing what was happening with you. I love your word for 2024 – it’s not just about hope but also understanding that light and dark are but a part of everyone’s life.
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The best thing that you did was travel! I find it the best way to let go of stuck energy. It is engrossing and the perfect way to forget the old. I always get away from depressive thoughts and feelings when I move around and see the happier side of life, as you saw in the baby. Congrats on getting your story published and also good tidings for 2024. I like your word Komorebi, sunlight through the trees is so heartlifting.
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Wow it’s amazing how you summed up 2023 in a blog. I think mine would have required more than 10000 words hahahaha. I’m glad I stuck to just December because it is my favourite month. All the best to you in the new year!
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More power to you, Swarnali. Your resilience and strength are inspiring.
When you said, “The crimson sky was looking beautiful. Somewhere in that aura of the dawn, the monster inside me stopped groaning and I started bringing myself back to the light. Something was there in the air, a positive vibe that was uplifting my mood as if a sapling was giving birth to its first leaves and they were raising their heads above the earth’s surface.” I had a smile on my face. Nature and life’s routine has a way of healing us when we least expect and when we haven’t even asked for it. I hope 2024 turns to be better than 2023 for you. I hope it’s everything you expect it to be and more.
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So so true “ To be a sunshine, first, you have to be the Sun”, and you keep proving this back and forth.
No matter how many times the darkness of the low moments clutched you within, you have always mustered the courage to sail through the ray of light that comes from the other side of the tunnel, i stead of giving up. And eventually made a winning comeback. So proud of you girl! Keep going, keep inspiring!
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Lovely journey with many milestones, Swarnali.
Well expressed with many photographs and personal memories.
The baby’s comfort level with you is touching. Some come into our lives for a few moments yet give such a lot of joy!
Glad that 2023 was an eventful year for you with many golden moments.
2024 will be even better for sure!
Keep shining!
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Hi @Swarnali, I felt at peace reading your post. I’m sorry for the pain that January 2023 brought you, but I’m so happy to note that you decided to go to Kolkata and things became better again. Congratulations on your blogging successes and anthologies. I love the way you have captured your year in this post. And I also love your word for 2024 and the reason you chose it. All the very best!
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[…] Forum, Blogaberry Dazzle Challenge, Emotional Wellness Group, IDPD Blog Hop, Bookish League, The Year & You, Speak Easy and Storytellers Blog Hop, all sprinkled their starry dust to the sabbatical year. […]
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This was such a beautiful post, Swarnali. It gives me a lot of hope to read your journey. Inspiration can be found in such unexpected ways in daily life. Always, more power to you.
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Swarnali, your writing always entrances me, showcasing both wisdom and maturity. This post is no exception, and your choice of words continues to impress. Despite the challenges you faced in 2023, your resilience and ability to bounce back define who you are. Your insights on life being in our control and our capacity to shape our destiny resonate strongly with me. You’re the architect of your own happiness, and I firmly believe in that philosophy. Wishing you an abundance of good fortune in 2024. Sending you a warm and supportive hug.
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Dear Swarnali,
I got to know you last year and that too through a bloghop and hope you remember the interactions we had. 🙂 Many facts unfolded starting from the place you are staying and how I am connected with that place and many more other things. I got to know a fighter girl who never say no to take up challenges and remain strong and confident even in the toughest moments of life. In short you are unstoppable and time will definitely reward you with happiness, peace, harmony and success in 2024. The post is like a cinematic presentation of how the year 2023 was for you and I am proud that you came out as a better version of you with more promises and aspirations in life. You very well described the canvas painting of your friend as “To be a sunshine, first, you have to be the Sun.” You are definitely that SUN who gave sunshine to many of us by hosting this brilliant Bloghop. Keep smiling , keep rocking and keep spreading positivity in the life of people surrounding you.
Much Love
Samata
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Swarnali, your writings are always so honest. Even while struggling yourself, you spread positivity and sunshine. This post is no different. Good or bad experiences, the heart is always full of gratitude. It is great to see Aunty out and about. You are a lovely daughter and your parents are indeed blessed. I hope 2024 is kinder to you.
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I think every year is filled with good and bad times, at least for me it has been that way. But we learn to live with both somehow, because we don’t have a choice, do we? Filling ourselves with hope and positive thoughts and thinking of that supreme power above us has been my straw that keeps me afloat at all times. Good luck for 2024, Swarnali. I’m curious what you will have to say at the end of this year.
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Thanks for such a brave post… It is not easy to share our deepest thoughts but when we do it is not only cathartic but also there’s always someone who needs to read those words you wrote… So keep writing and I wish you a peaceful and joyful 2024.
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I’ve been a part of your personal journey in the little capacity that I can and I know that you’re a fighter, Swar. You’ve gone through a lot but never given hope and never will. A few bad days (even terrible) or experiences don’t define us and we aren’t served more than we can take. Hope life gives you that much-needed gentle caress and brings you peace, just like you did to that little girl. Lots of hugs and you know I’m always there for you!
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Hey Swarnali, I love how you express yourself and spread positivity through your writing. It’s inspiring how you turned from feeling down to hopeful. Finding peace in simple moments is a great lesson. Wishing you strength and better days in 2024.
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Swarnali, your post always spreads positivity and has the healing power. I know you had to go through a lot last year but still you braved through it with a fighting spirit. Wishing you for a happy, healthy and prosperous year ahead!!
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To write about the hard days and sometimes leave them behind and walk stronger is what we ought to do in life glad you chose to go to Kolkata that day I believe we are best when we take a break and travel and visit a place to renew our life. for better and embrace happiness. Thank you for having me here my fab friend and fantastic host. Lots and lots of success and happiness to you.
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Its very hard to open up our hearts and write down everything. Its incredible and amazing, plus Swarnali you had been there in one of those times when I was losing my mind. You are fab…
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